I asked myself, "Did he stop loving me, or Was he tired of our relationship"?
With the daily squabbles, you deserved better afterall.
Love,
Sophie
Friday, January 1, 2010
Thursday, November 5, 2009
It takes time
That full sized theodic pump that goes 'boop boop boop' whenever he says "morning baby" was broken. I often ask myself, do I not deserve happiness? Twice bitten, makes me a fool, but this time, I feel like a goo. Smashed one last time as if I'm only a flan. Days are going to be dreadful, and so i thought. Somehow it feels different now.
Day 1: completely out of control. crying was all i did.
Day2: hoping that there'll be a brighter light to guide me if I just keep looking. Cried even more.
Day 3: Talked things over. It's officially over. He hugged me and said, "It's all my fault, I will always love you. You'll always be that special someone". Trusted that, came home, started blaming myself for driving him away.
Day 4: Called me in the morning to check on me. Then shut his phone and I realise he's lying and was already with the other girl. Felt sick with the thought of that. Told myself, "He is indeed a prick". Slept with anger.
Day 5: Woke up with a little smile on my face. I know, days will be brighter for I already knew the truth. Infidelity is something so common, yet so unforgivable.
From then, I know, I'm not as weak as i thought I'd be. Its the same sort of pain I'm aware of. Took me 5 days, bucketful of tears, but the rest of my life to forget. If i ever will.
Twice bitten, I'm shy. That third time was a charm. A brutal reminder, it will remain.
Love,
Sophie
ps: happened a while ago. worth recapturing anyhow. a reminder i said.
Day 1: completely out of control. crying was all i did.
Day2: hoping that there'll be a brighter light to guide me if I just keep looking. Cried even more.
Day 3: Talked things over. It's officially over. He hugged me and said, "It's all my fault, I will always love you. You'll always be that special someone". Trusted that, came home, started blaming myself for driving him away.
Day 4: Called me in the morning to check on me. Then shut his phone and I realise he's lying and was already with the other girl. Felt sick with the thought of that. Told myself, "He is indeed a prick". Slept with anger.
Day 5: Woke up with a little smile on my face. I know, days will be brighter for I already knew the truth. Infidelity is something so common, yet so unforgivable.
From then, I know, I'm not as weak as i thought I'd be. Its the same sort of pain I'm aware of. Took me 5 days, bucketful of tears, but the rest of my life to forget. If i ever will.
Twice bitten, I'm shy. That third time was a charm. A brutal reminder, it will remain.
Love,
Sophie
ps: happened a while ago. worth recapturing anyhow. a reminder i said.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Stop the Dolphin Slaughter in Japan!
The COVE, is going to be very interesting movie and i cant wait to watch it this week. Opening 20th August. Many said that it is the most heartbreaking documentary ever made. This film about massive slaughter of dolphins in the town of Taiji, Japan is led by Louis Psihoyos, the director, and was inspired by Richard O'Barry, a former dolphin trainer.
After watching the trailer and the interview with Richard O'Barry this morning, I cant help but ask, why are these dolphins suffering, and what have they done to deserve this. They obviously have just as much right to live in this world as you or i.
I've signed the petition, donated, and prayed.
Instead of spending that 15 minutes to sign up and vote for your favourite FHM woman, how about using 5 minutes here to try make a difference in this world.
loves,
sophie
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Time Set Aside
....to update, finally.
1. chicken rice
garlic ginger rice
coriander and chillies
honey soy roasted half-chicken
2. curry chicken rice
homemade chinese pancakes
- with onions -
hit me for recipe? lol ! will update more soon!
crazy loves,
Sophie
1. chicken rice
garlic ginger rice
coriander and chillies
honey soy roasted half-chicken
2. curry chicken rice
homemade chinese pancakes
- with onions -
hit me for recipe? lol ! will update more soon!
crazy loves,
Sophie
Thursday, May 14, 2009
The all anew that hurts
.
.How did all this happen in such a short short time?
It seemed like I have just reached here this morning. I miss home.
How do people start everything all over again? From having nothing to something then back to nothing again.
When I was first enrolled in Taylors, I was alone. Me, single, alone. Then I had house mates, classmates. Friends. That small circle grew so wide that I had a farm all to myself. Madu, Yang, Bee.
It started with a single bed in a shared room to the unit all to myself. I get to pick the brown carpet to go with the Japanese table in the living hall. The fridge was mine. Basil pesto, T-bone, anchovies fillets, mustard. I always had fresh supply of thick cream for carbonara.
Just a moment ago I asked myself, where did all that go.
I realised I have moved past the whole transition and all that is needed is an ending. Where I end up marrying to the man I love. The only thing needed was to let my fridge sit in that acre square kitchen. Hypothetically.
That was the dream.
That was the way things should have been for me.
Instead, I'm stuck here. All anew again.
Im in a room and I have a shared kitchen with my mates.
The fridge is not mine anymore.
I dont buy T-bone cause they dont eat beef.
I dont buy dinning plates that were so white it glares.
I dont buy lilies just to keep the counter always smelling fresh anymore.
I miss it.
I miss everything.
I miss having it all.
I shouldn't be starting all over again. Should I? I had it all didnt i? I did. Yes, I did. All I needed was an ending. Where has it all gone to now?
How cruel.
.How did all this happen in such a short short time?
It seemed like I have just reached here this morning. I miss home.
How do people start everything all over again? From having nothing to something then back to nothing again.
When I was first enrolled in Taylors, I was alone. Me, single, alone. Then I had house mates, classmates. Friends. That small circle grew so wide that I had a farm all to myself. Madu, Yang, Bee.
It started with a single bed in a shared room to the unit all to myself. I get to pick the brown carpet to go with the Japanese table in the living hall. The fridge was mine. Basil pesto, T-bone, anchovies fillets, mustard. I always had fresh supply of thick cream for carbonara.
Just a moment ago I asked myself, where did all that go.
I realised I have moved past the whole transition and all that is needed is an ending. Where I end up marrying to the man I love. The only thing needed was to let my fridge sit in that acre square kitchen. Hypothetically.
That was the dream.
That was the way things should have been for me.
Instead, I'm stuck here. All anew again.
Im in a room and I have a shared kitchen with my mates.
The fridge is not mine anymore.
I dont buy T-bone cause they dont eat beef.
I dont buy dinning plates that were so white it glares.
I dont buy lilies just to keep the counter always smelling fresh anymore.
I miss it.
I miss everything.
I miss having it all.
I shouldn't be starting all over again. Should I? I had it all didnt i? I did. Yes, I did. All I needed was an ending. Where has it all gone to now?
How cruel.
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